Down Home Advice from Aunt Maltilda
Dear Aunt Matilda,
I am a 27-year old professional woman who, in addition to having a full-time career and making time for me, is trying to preserve some old style Southern family traditions for my children. My husband and I work an average of 45-50 hours per week but we want to give our children the same sort of traditional southern values we were raised with. My Granny died last year and I am trying to track down a recipe for fried okra casserole that she used to make. Unfortunately, while she was alive I never got the opportunity to ask her for the recipe. Can you help?
Signed,
Southern but Busy
Dear Busy,
You never “got” the opportunity, or never “made” the opportunity? Bless your pea-pickin’ Southern heart, Punkin, but your biggest problem isn’t the fried okra casserole (we used to call that dish “Heart Attack in a pan” by the way). Your problem is that you read too many articles in Cosmo while you were growing up instead of spending time with your Granny. You’ve fallen victim to the modern delusion that you can, in fact, have it all.
Honey, you need to make some choices in your life. You want a close, strong family, but you spend all your time chasing the big-time career, big house, fancy cars, and “me time.” What truly matters to you is what you spend your time working for. You spend your time trying to see what you can get instead of taking care of what you got. That’s what you’re teaching your kids.
Having a strong family is not easy. It’s even harder when Mommy and Daddy are spending all their time chasing things. There’s nothing wrong with working hard to provide for your family. That is a traditional Southern value. But if you want to pass on some good old-fashioned Southern traditions to your kids, try passing on some other real Southern values: spending time with extended family (like Granny), worshipping together, praying together over meals, reaching out to those less fortunate. You know, putting God and family first in a life of service to others.
And your Granny probably went to meet her maker wishing you’d have taken the time to ask for fried okra casserole recipe.
Darlin’, I hate to be the one to break it to you, but you can’t have it all. Don’t believe me? Go ask your Momma and Daddy. I’m sure your Daddy will tell you what men learned a long, long time ago: not only can you not have everything— career, close family, “personal space,” big house, fancy cars, etc—but you’re lucky if you can have anything.
But if you have your family, you have everything.
Love,
Tildie
Got a question for Aunt Matilda?
Send it to her attention at
splashnwf@yahoo.com.
|
|
)