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The Christmas Dream - 1986
A reprint of a Classic T. Bubba Bechtol column
By T. Bubba Bechtol Special to Splash! Magazine
"This article was written on my first every Christmas alone. It is dedicated to all those people that may have this experience this or any year. Life is not over, Christmas is here"
It was Christmas Day. Home was far away in my mind. I kept singing "I'll be Home for Christmas" and other songs that brought my childhood back to me. Thoughts of a cold, damp southern Mississippi, with a pine knot fire, my brothers and mother near; and a pine tree decorated with cardboard cutouts and popcorn. There were mental pictures of family and friends, Christmas dinner, church and just a good time.
There were dreams of the Christmas day I wanted with my children around me, my dog sleeping at my feet, and the smell of a turkey smoking in the backyard.
Somehow my life never turned out to be like the dream. It was as though the past had eluded the present. Things could never be like they were, like I had dreamed them to be. Divorce, age, the "empty nest syndrome," war, fake friends and financial mistakes had taken their toll. And as well, I was along with it all.
Today was today, not yesterday.
It was then that I knew that Christmas was only a dream in the mind of what might have been, what could have been, what I wish it would be. However, the dream still exists for me. I still believe in the magic of Christmas morning. While I live alone and the patter of little feet left my ears long ago, and there is no one to tuck into bed the night before, I still awake to a blessed day that is like no other. I know that the past really happened, but the future did not work out to be what I wanted it to be. Why then do I still believe as I do?
I think maybe it is because this is not the place where dreams come true. Dreams still come true in the future. The life for me is to keep striving for that dream. I must believe that the most wonderful Christmas day is yet to come. Maybe it will be this year! I hope so. I love the feeling waiting for that day gives me ... that special faith and warmth that comes from knowing that Christmas Day is really the birthday of Jesus. All the goodness in my world is in this day, this day of days! I must feel this way, any way else is to live less of a life,.... I refuse to do that.
Christmas is the promise of a better world. No Christmas will ever match the memories of yesterday. However, we can all dream, plan and work toward this Christmas, to make it the best ever. I choose to do this. I will make my Christmas the greatest ever. I will smile, be happy for others, help someone today that needs it, and remember all the joyous Christmas's of my past. I will always believe in the magic of Christmas Day and all it brings to me. Thank you God for your Son, thank you for my sons, and for Christmas, forever!
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