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Get your nostalgia fix with TMNT
Running Time: 90 minutes MPAA rating: PG Grade: F
In 1984, two guys (Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird) sick of the comics industry's obsession with ninjas, mutants and most of all, hackneyed story lines, created a scathingly satirical comic entitled "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles."
The one-shot, black and white, self-published comic became a huge underground success. Needless to say, almost immediately the two guys were approached by a merchandising agent and before you can say "Cowabunga!" the dark, underground hit had been co-opted by the same crass, greedy corporate slimeheads Eastman and Laird sought to parody. Throughout the '80s and '90s Turtles were a merchandising juggernaut.
Now, with the release of "TMNT," it's hoped that the franchise can be reborn so that bajillions of action figures, lunchboxes, toy sets, you name it, can be sold.
Too bad the movie is a steaming pile of awfulness.
The movie is directed by a fella who has never directed a feature film before. He makes video games -- and it shows. The computer graphics are subpar, the story (about a portal to another dimension, the reanimation of ancient warriors, Civilization in Peril, yadda yadda) is feeble and the action scenes are truly unremarkable.
Needless to say, if you were a kid in the '80s and grew up watching the TV cartoons, you'll go to the movie, get your nostalgia fix and move on with your life. Nothing I can say will keep you from wanting to relive your childhood.
For the rest of you (us): Just say No.
(c) 2007 King Features Synd., Inc.
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